In today’s world, many young women are more focused on marrying men who are already successful—those with stable jobs, nice cars, and big houses. To them, this is the ideal husband material. But what most of them fail to realize is that marrying a man whose life is already fully built comes with silent dangers. They don’t consider the reality of joining a life they didn’t help shape. They just want to walk in and enjoy the benefits, forgetting that every reward usually comes with a price.
The truth is, most “already made” men rarely change. If he drinks, parties, or chases women before marriage, don’t expect the ring to fix that. He’s used to that lifestyle, and marriage won’t automatically shift his habits. Also, in many cases, a woman who enters his life after success doesn’t hold much value in his eyes. He may not see her as a partner, but rather as a possession—something to add to his achievements. Her opinions may not matter much because she wasn’t there during his struggle.

Women in such relationships often find themselves living a life that looks glamorous from the outside but feels empty on the inside. They drive nice cars and wear designer clothes, but many are silently battling depression, loneliness, and emotional abuse. They stay because leaving would mean losing the lifestyle they’ve grown used to. Their efforts are hardly appreciated, because the man already “had it all” before they arrived. No matter how hard they try, it never feels enough.
Worse still, attention and affection are not given freely. They are earned—only when the man feels it’s convenient. And sometimes, even the most intimate aspects of marriage suffer. A man who is wealthy and successful might not have the energy or interest to meet his wife’s emotional or physical needs. Yet, with his status, he keeps attracting attention from other women. The wife ends up constantly competing for a place in his heart, battling insecurities, and trying to protect what never really felt like hers.
Arguments become frequent, and instead of peace, she hears threats. “You can leave if you want,” he might say, reminding her that he didn’t beg her to come. For such men, love is easily replaced by money, gifts, and apologies wrapped in material things. Their pride won’t let them say “I’m sorry.” In their minds, you’re only there because of their wealth—so why should they apologize?
It’s important to note that not all successful men are this way. Some are humble, respectful, and ready to love sincerely. But it’s dangerous to be guided by material desire alone. Women should tread carefully. Don’t be so quick to run after men who seem to have it all. Many of them belong to every girl who can flatter them enough.
Instead, consider a man who is still building his life—a man with vision, humility, and genuine love. When you build together, your bond becomes stronger. You’ll value each other more. And when success finally comes, you’ll both enjoy it with fulfillment and pride.
There is no grass that grows green on its own. Every green field you see has someone consistently watering it. Stop chasing another person’s garden. Pick your seed, grab your hoe, and start building your own. Use wisdom, patience, and love. Because truly, forever is too long to be unhappy.
~maryam Ibrahim bununu